Turn the radio down and say it out loud.

So I took the initiative to get involved in a Bible study at my church. My church is huge, thousands of people. And they basically make you find your own group. I am not outgoing in new situations...but I did it anyways because I wanted to find people who could help me rebuild my faith. My group started out with 12 people in it. Slowly people have been dropping out. And then tonight when I arrived at my Bible Study, my leader told me that he didn't think that it was worth keeping a Bible Study going with only 3 people. I was frustrated and annoyed. If you have people who are willing to be part of a group, and grow deeper in their knowledge of God, then why would you say it's not worth it to meet? I think the leader of my group wanted to be a leader more than he wanted to help people. I think it makes him feel good about himself to lead people. I don't think he's that concerned with helping people unless its in bulk. He was a member of YWAM (Youth With A Mission) for like 4 years I think. Maybe he has spent so much time helping mass quantities of teens around the world, that he wouldn't want to waste time on two people in an apartment in Maplewood, Minnesota.
I don't understand why God made me go through the nerve racking process of finding a group, and getting involved, only to remove me from it. It's a Bible Study. Shouldn't that be a good thing? Maybe God didn't think that my leader would actually lead me? Maybe he would have done more damage to my incredibly shrinking faith, than help it grow. Only time will tell..But I don't really know where that leaves me now. I was kind of clinging onto my Bible Study for dear life, because it did help me communicate with other Christians, and not feel so small in my great big church. It made me feel a little less lost. That's a good book title. If I ever write one, that may be it..."A Little Less Lost" The next time I will be able to get involved will be at the end of January. That's very far away to me. I liked having the community..even though it consisted of a few guys talking about sports (when not discussing the pastor's sermon):)
It seems like my life has always been me...and a couple of guys.
How do you get unlost?