I am currently at my school. I am supposed to be doing some sort of prep work. But I don't feel the need to do any such thing. I am sitting here, listening to music, and writing. I feel worthless here. I want to get out so fast. I don't want to spend any extra time here, when I am not with my students. I especially have been avoiding my principal, who hasn't been looking at me either. Of course, I do glance at him now and then, but just when I realize that he is around.
I called the school that was in charge of the interview I went to last week. The secretary said that they had started hiring, that if I hadn't heard anything yet, I would find out within the next few weeks. To me that means that I am not going to be hired. In the next few weeks I will receive a call, or a letter in the mail saying that all of the positions would be filled. It made my heart sink to know that they have started hiring. This means that I was not chosen to be one of the 14 new art teachers. I couldn't even land a job when there were 14 openings. How pathetic is that. Sometimes I think that I got extremely lucky when I got hired. Dennis was looking for someone to fill a part-time position, and he knew that it wasn't going to be easy to find someone good to fill a part-time position. So he sat in on another principal's interview sessions. Probably hoping to snatch a sucker who would except anything (me). Someone who had been looking for so long that she would have driven two hours to work everyday if she had to. He met me, and decided I would be that person. He made it sound like he wanted me to be at his school, but I think he didn't want to take the time to set up his own interviews. My impression of him has drastically changed in the last three months, but most importantly in the last month. If Dennis hired me out of convenience, who is going to hire me now?

I have included a picture in this email of two of my students. They look like they are having fun, but does this mean I am not doing my job?