So Hungry

For the last few days, I have been trying to change the way I eat. So far I have been mildly successful. I have noticed a few things though. I am emotionally attached to food. When I don't get to eat what I want, I get moody. I also get depressed. I guess I never realized how much I depend on food to make me happy. I keep waiting for this "diet" to be over, so I can go back to eating food that I enjoy. Then I realize that it's only the 3rd day, and this is the way it needs to be for a long time. I won't say forever, because once I lose some weight, I can bring things back into my diet. Right now I need to focus on looking at food as a necessity to live. Not as a form of entertainment or enjoyment. When I was watching TV today, I saw advertisements for different restaurants, and the food looked so good, and I realized that I couldn't have any of it. It made me mad. I'm sure that I will indulge here and there, but for the most part, I need to concentrate on being strong. I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the kitchen and started looking for something to eat. There are Hershey Kisses on the kitchen table, and they are driving me crazy. I get hungry about every three hours, and I have to find things to eat that aren't going to hinder my weightloss.

Today we had a bad thunderstorm. I woke up in the afternoon to a tornado warning. I got to work and everyone was in the designated tornado area. The power was gone, and it didn't return for 2 hours. It was a hard day. I had to feed the babies, and there was only cold or room temperature milk, and a few of the babies refused to drink it, but continued to cry. At one time we had five out of eight babies crying. This job is quite a reality check for me when I think about having children. I know that right now I am not ready. I have no husband first of all, and I have no money.

My school was closed for tomorrow because of the storms. There is no electricity. I am so relieved. One less day to teach before summer vacation. I am looking forward to it so much.