My brother gave me the title for this blog. I love him. If God were to have created me as a man I would be...Jimmy Williamson. We thought we were twins for a while when we were little, we didn't get that when I had a birthday, it actually made me a year older. But still, 14 months apart is pretty close.
Valentine's Day is in two weeks. It has been a sore spot for me since I was about 15 years old. Never a good one, always lonely. A boyfriend is something that I've always wanted, but never been blessed with. Sometimes I wonder if when I finally do meet someone, I will just find something else to be discontent with. This doesn't sound like a very good deal. Is a relationship everything I imagine it to be? The complaints I hear from family and friends about their spouses make me realize that it isn't always sunshine and lollipops. I also think about being available to go where God wants me to go, and how a husband and children would play into that. Ultimately, I think that God has put the desire to be a wife and a mother inside of me for a reason. Lately, I have been praying for God to take away that desire until the time comes for me to fall in love.
Though being happy with myself is a daily love/hate relationship, I am altogether happy. Life has been a little hard lately, and I presume it will get even more difficult since it is only the third week of the semester, but I feel like I am where God wants me to be in my life. I feel like God has blessed me in so many ways. Even though I am currently frustrated with God, I can see him working all of the time in my life. Tonight at church, it seemed like God had been in my mind all week, and had designed a sermon to address everything. Even one of the key verses was one that I put on my facebook profile this week.
I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year. Not with anyone special, but with everyone special. I think I will bring some cupcakes to church (since Valentine's Day is on a Sunday) and share them with some of the volunteers. And maybe all of my family members deserve to get something fun. Let Valentine's Day not be about who finds me special, but about who I find special. If God has chosen for me to be single right now, it doesn't mean that I am not loved, it only means that it just isn't time yet. Searching for someone is pointless when it only takes one person to find you irreplaceable. And God definitely finds me irreplaceable. I am filled with love, I love this life, I love the bright winter sunsets, the rabbits that run away everytime I open my front door, the wiener dog I saw today with the sweater, and the amazing family and friends who love me back. Thank you God, for giving me the ability to appreciate these things!
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